Whats the worst thing about having scizophrenia for you?

I hate being tortured and violated.

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Not trusting myself, or anyone else.

Actually, having passed it onto my son is the worst.

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Not being the person I was, wife i was, mom I was. I woudl settle for only having this back again.

I am working to accept that i dont sit on boards for community organizations, helpless that i can no longer work, especially in a social service job i loved helping people, to accept that I cant do half what i did that i loved. to no longer like to have social events at my house or be a good fun friendā€¦ i can accept that some days I sit for hours the only thing i can force to do is reach for a laptop during that time, i can accept that getting chores done and getting a grocery store run or a coffee with a friend is a super successful day when it included very little. I can work on accepting.

ā€” but to have my family not see me enjoy or fake enjoying special events, holidays, activitiesā€¦ and to not be the active creative woman they lovedā€¦ to know they forget that i am still that person and just see me do very little and shell of who i wasā€¦ that is the worst thing.
also to have no one close to you ever understand how hard it really is.

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Lack of confidence in some key situations, even if things are getting better and better I am expecting the worst and think about it all the time, thus I canā€™t enjoy the good things in life. Especially my GF is from time to time a victim of my low self-esteem, For example, after a nice evening I often argue with her because I think that something bad is happening and that she is fake. Have to change that, because I am sure she doesnā€™t deserve to be treated like this. Iā€™m talking only about verbal violence, I havenā€™t used physical violence against anyone for over 8 years. Before, it happened quite often, but this change is actually something I donā€™t regret at all.

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Having schizophrenia.

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The worst things are havenā€™t difficulty getting my thoughts together sometimes (verbally too), memory, and motivation. The voices arenā€™t a big issue due to the meds.

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Lack of motivation I guess.

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Some people are too stupid for words. I hope you cut those toxic people out and now have more supportive friends. If not letā€™s find you some! Start with meā€¦ :slight_smile:

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That i am always pissed off . Cant spend time on my dream,couse its impossible to do anything. Not enjoing anything couse i dont get enjoiment from things. Probably lack of motivation its.

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The overwhelming terror. Not trusting anyone or anything. Being confronted with my deepest darkest most primal fears and believing that there will be endless horrorific torture for eternity for me and my son. Believing that I have to chose between either myself or my son going to the deepest pit of hell. A terror that nobody I know can even begin to understand. Feeling like Iā€™m in George Orwellā€™s Room 101.

Or the meds. Losing my capability to love because of the meds. I still canā€™t figure out whatā€™s worse, the psychotic terror or the medication-induced nothingness.

On the other handā€¦during my psychoses I have had euphoric mystical experiences of the deepest love, faith and connection to all living beings and God that nobody I know understands either.

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Feeling burnt out on life.

Always thinking that someone/government is plotting to detain me and kill me, poison me, etcā€¦ And not knowing who this person looks like. It could be anyone. It could be a regular looking person in disguise.

Iā€™m always on edge and yet foggy-minded. No motivation. Being at home in my room all day everyday.

I used to have a passion for my few hobbies. Now I donā€™t feel any sort of passion about anything. If someone asked what I want in life I wouldnā€™t know. I donā€™t know.

I just donā€™t know what to do anymore.

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The cognitive issues edge out the delusions/hallucinations. My brain strains like all hell trying to put together simple sentences throughout the day. It hurts so much. And actions that used to be automatic arenā€™t, so thereā€™s no escape from the painful thoughts. To only find peace trying to think about nothing, it makes me jittery. Itā€™s just wrong.

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Side effects of medication and going sycotic the rest I can deal with haha

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Extreme paranoia and my brain controlling me rather than having the ability to control my mind etc obsessive thoughts and conversations, hallucinations, things like that.

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I would say the suffering and disability it brings. I have lost contact with friends lost jobs ended up in prison etc but because of the suffering and disability I am not able to put my life back together and can not enjoy the simple things in life.

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I lost everything on more than one occasion. No friends, family seems like life is just a waste of time all this suffering just to end it with nothing.

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I have to constantly be in fear and I now find it impossible to speak fluently.

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I can never trust myself. I never know whatā€™s real.

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Negative symptoms are the worst thing. I donā€™t have positive symptoms since my collapse, but the nagative remained. Iā€™m not quite sure if they are caused by the antipsychotics.

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You could use people here to help you to get motivated if youā€™re interested.

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