Mental illness runs in families. This is well known and uncontroversial. There is much that we could do to reduce this risk, but we currently do almost nothing.
A parent with mental illness is several times more likely to have a child with psychological problems than a healthy parent. For example, a child whose parent has an anxiety disorder has a one in three chance of developing an anxiety disorder of their own. If both of their parents has an anxiety disorder, the odds rise to two in three.
Mental illness runs through the generations via a complex mix of genes and environment. We can’t do much about the genes that parents pass to their children. But, the fact is, only part of the problem is genetic – and it is often less than you would imagine. For the majority of psychological disorders, including depression, schizophrenia, anxiety, and personality disorders, a large slice of the risk is from environmental factors – things we can, and should, do something about.
But what do we do to protect these children? In many cases, therapists won’t even know that their client has children. But if we take, for example, a depressed parent – their children have a 40% chance of developing major depressive disorder by the age of 20. If a child had a known 40% chance of developing a serious physical disorder, they would not be neglected in this way.
This neglect is such a shame. We know that when parents have mental illness but also have good parenting skills, their children’s mental health is protected. This has now been shown for a number of psychological disorders.
4 Likes
Its awful for my parents generation.
I am just now finding out about different disorders from one side of the family. Back then, no one talked about it-or even knew that`s what it was.
2 Likes
I think this is a really important issue. What are your own experiences? Do you know any good initiatives? How do others deal with this?
My own experience is that mental health professionals and even CPS don’t do much unless there is obvious and severe and physical damage to the child. The child is mostly not on their radar.
Some examples of how it should NOT be imho;
- I was a volunteer with two “retarded” (I don’t know the politically correct english term, sorry) and autistic parents of a “normal” child. There were several professionals to help the parents, but I as a volunteer was the first to ask whether there was any help for the child or if anyone had ever talked to her. They looked at me in confusion - why?!? There’s nothing wrong with the child?!?
- I was sent home borderline psychotic from a ward to care as a single parent for my 3 year old son, without a social network. On my pleas to get send to a mother-child unit or get help in the care for my child, because I did not manage, nobody responded and they refused to refer me because I should be able to do it by myself. I arranged for a child psychologist by myself…and collapsed some months later because I couldn’t handle the pressure.
Some GOOD initiatives I know of:
- The said mother child unit. Women with a history of domestic abuse get help to find out why they got themselves into a situation like that, become stronger and get help with raising their child.
- A mother-child unit for women with postnatal depression, where women can stay with their babies to get help bonding with them.
- An organisation that has playful groups for children of mentally ill parents to talk and share their experiences.
- In a clinic somewhat further away from where I live, they used to have a nurse who was specialized in children of mental patients. They unfortunately cut the budget and she couldn’t do her job anymore…but i think it was really good.
Unfortunately, in my country, as a parent you have to push really very hard to get that kind of help…which is strange…because what if the parent does not see the problem?!? I think not only the parents should get standard help offered (parenting skills), but depending on the situation someone should talk with the child as well and guide them.
I’ve heard several kids…children of autistic parents, children of “retarded” (sorry) parents, etc complain as adults that there were so many mental health professionals involved with the parent, and nobody asked about them or tought them how to deal with the situation.
What do you people think should happen? Do you ask any help yourselves?
1 Like
I like the idea of the mother child unit.
Where I live there is a mission that wants to start of stable home for mothers and children so the children can stay in one place if their mothers have to go into the hospital or rehab. That would be fantastic.
There is zero help for children here unless the parents advocate for them. Parents who have a hard time taking care of themselves are obviously not capable of being their children’s advocates.
@anon73478309 I’m impressed that you were able to get your child in to see a psychologist; that’s a large effort. I’m sorry you collapsed.
To answer your question, one idea would be to give children age-appropriate education about what is different about their family and let them know when to ask for help. This education and long term support would be provided by an advocate/agency they can contact themselves via phone AND their school. Dreaming
2 Likes
I like both the ideas that you mention… the mother-child home and the education/contact person for the child. I’m actually thinking of asking said child psychologist to fulfill that role for my child if things stay as they are. Thanks.