Those questions and people that get under your skin

DX'd - Other
1

Time and an ISP just prevented me from doing something stupid lol. I went through a psychotic break in 2007 (my first and only). At the time, there was this guy I worked with that I had just a super duper crush on. I scared him with my crazy and then I was fired the next day. Then I came home, ran away to the north east, and realized (through force) in the psychiatric wing of a hospital in New Jersey ‘Whattya know I’m a schizophrenic.’

I figured when I got home, the best thing to do would be to leave him alone even if I really wanted to apologize. I’ve stayed away from him. But it has always bothered me that I don’t exactly know what happened and I also admit I miss talking with him. So I wrote this email asking if he could provide me with his perspective to help me deal with things. But he changed email addresses and I got a mailer daemon response. I’m not surprised. It has been ten years. But I am both relieved and really disappointed lol. Kind of heart broken.

I find it odd that I have so much trouble letting go. I do try, but I can’t seem to get over it. Sometimes I will go months without thinking about it but then I get really sad. I admit there is a part of me that doesn’t want to let go. But I can’t get that part to budge.

Anyone else ever been in a situation like this?

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2

Yes. I have. Mine was in 2011 though. Though the girl scared me with her crazy at first, which I ultimately returned the favor after awhile. I still think about her too. It’s that weird psychosis love.

3

I think the word is Limerence.

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4

Wow there was a word for it and all people did was tell me to get over it. ■■■■■■■ counselors

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5

So, I’m asexual and this is still a thing for me… it’s hard. It’s so … compulsive, obsessive, or something, I guess.

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I think what triggers it is when I feel particularly lonely. I’m just really tired of not connecting with anyone. I feel like I’m desperately trying to offer people myself and they are going ‘meh, no thanks.’

What also makes it worse is that, when I try to be objective about it, he was in fact a very wonderful person…who I scared the holy bejeezus out of lol.

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7

You’re more proactive than me. My obsession is over with (at least until i jinx it again like i just did). Mine was terrible.

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Did anything particularly help you to get over it?

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I researched a lot of male and female social cues, sexuality, ect. Eventually I came to the conclusion that I need to take things slow.

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gosh, I think of my ex which I havent seen since 4 years, almost every day now… I am just obsessed and possessed by him. its my psychotic love in fact :confused: . It happens to a lot of us I find lol… but I suffer to be like this, I would like a bit of peace now and move forward if needed…

11

Some guy yelled gay at me today at my apt complex. I thought about Stuart Townsend all day today. I’ve decided in not going to let others tell me how to feel think or be. My sz has let people in so much my voices started torturing me with the gay thing. I’m sorry but I’ve never had any interest in females. Sexually or relationship wise. Why cant people ■■■■ off and leave me alone? Sorry I went off on tangent. Anyway, I’m female, hence Roxanna. Been in a relationship with male for nine years. You know I really don’t give a ■■■■ about sexual orientation anyone is as long as they’re happy. People here seem to assume though. I really dislike most people until I get to know them

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Will it go away in the very unlikely event I find someone new? Or is it always going to be this way? I kind of feel like I have both love and a fixation for him.

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You said its been ten years right? I think you can find a new person in time. I think it’s good to fantasize though. Not so much obsessed but those beautiful thoughts.

14

thank you. I only hope so.

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