They are punishing me

Telling the doctors and nurses about them was not a good idea, it made them angry.

Now they are punishing me, giving me ear infection and colds, fatigue, low energy, sadness, no appetite.

I tried to meet my spiritual guide via meditation last night and they refused to speak to me, they made me very restless and agitated, gave me horrible nightmares.

Nothing I do is right, good enough or pleases them. I don’t know what to do.

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That’s just how the world is. Negligent if not abusive.

The voices… Or at least mine, seem to be born in part of feeling that way about all of it.

The world is so careless they literally don’t even want you to care.

Ba I’m spouting my own insanities.

What I mean is to suggest that your voices are actually masking a disatisfaction with your real life. However guilt has you taking it out on yourself instead.

Just know that voices or illusioneers behind them, or however you figure it, aren’t tied the physical world in anyway aside from your internal psychosis.

Sorry you’re struggling.

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I am scared one day I will become my demons. Who will save me then?

Nobody believes me. Just because I have blonde hair & blue eyes and “intelligent” they think I am innocent.

Even my spiritual guide is not nice. What does that say about me as a person?

I am forever guilty. Serving time for crimes I have not committed.

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Practice throwing hadoken at the imaginary demons. Yeah I know what you mean, how long will it take until we crack as insane people. That’s partly why we get drugged.

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Thought police…

The only real way to designate what makes a sz chosen is too look at what we all have in common. You look at the group of folks on here though and nothing holds up.

We don’t deserve this. That’s where acceptance that it’s just and illness and it’s totally unfair is supposed to set in. Except that’s tough, because we still have the illness

I cannot throw things at them because to me they can only be heard and felt.

I’m not going to be drugged for a while. I don’t know which is worse for me. Being drugged or not drugged.

That sounds backwards.

People suck. I don’t know what to do about it, but in my schizophrenic contemplations I really do think it’s their fault and not mine. They’d be aware of it too and just let themselves be wrong. A lot of real life stuff indicates that’s how people are. Short on seeing their short comings and the negatives of their ends… Instead of insecure and guilty with an inclination to monitor everything in hopes that it might fall in line some day

My illness is not psychosis or schizophrenia. Even pdoc said that. My illness is the punishments from these unknown entities breathing bull*** into my mind, sending me broken frequency electromagnetic waves, twisting my reality into a thriller. I wouldn’t be surprised if they have drugged me themselves, all the time I am so tired and dizzy, shaking and weak, confused and irritable.

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That’s a shame. Hang in there and don’t give up. Haters gonna hate hate hate lmao. Don’t let the thoughts of self doubt or old insults bring you down.

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It’s certainly psychosis! The fact you believe otherwise is the strongest indication it is.

It might not be schizophrenia but you have hallucinations and a persecution complex… That’s basically paranoid schizophrenia

Taylor Swift lol. That’s true, sometimes I hear old insults from my haters in my head.

My head’s so heavy, could this be all a dream?

I mean I’m no doctor, but your entertaining some delusional thinking. I’ve been stuck in that crap for years.

There are no conceivable mechanisms that could read a human mind with any accuracy. If you want the run down it basically starts and ends with the plights of the targeted individuals. I’ll tell you though, those groups just reinforce the wrong approach to living with this crap.

Voice to skull transmission developed during ww2 using microwave radiation… I mean it sounds like an episode of the xfiles and is in part true…

Think about the neural feedback. The voices hear, interpret, and respond to your thinking.

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They aren’t part of a computer is what I’m saying…

Dude Jess it ain’t a dream. Just know you’re not alone nor the only one with your condition.

It’s about the only thing that’s kept me sane through this.

It might help to try to learn about psychosis at large and not just your particular set of symptoms.

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Tell your voices your smarter than them. Then act like it. Shoulders back nose up and smile…

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Take medication regulary. it actually works very good. the same effectiveness as penicillin cures infections which is 70% success rate
tell them i dont take medication to kill you but rather to calm you down
be wise to avoid problems with them
for further boost in success rate of drugs
do exercise and break sweat and forget all about them
for me they prevent me from exercising
pray to god to save yourself from them regulary
it is actually secret in why developing countries recover more easily than developed countries
they believe in they can recover they do pray regularly they do recover
when relapse they discipline more and more in praying till they do recover
just believe in the omnipotent omnipresent the god and he will save you undoubtedly

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Mostly, dont feel guilty at all for this! I am the same like you on the guilt and apparently its just a damn illness…

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That does sound scary. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Nobody believes in your fears? If this is the case, do you feel like nobody understands?

I had that for a while too. I thought I was talking to God and at first the voice was always so kind and warm and helpful, I loved it and was devoted to it. But then it started getting more and more morally demanding, to the point where any small deviation from perfection, even things like cursing or simply viewing violent movie scenes, etc got it to “punish” me with bad luck or ignore me.

In reality it was my own desire to be morally righteous manifesting through my psychosis. Things got a lot better when I realized that voice was just psychosis and not actually God and I stopped paying it any mind. I told myself even if it was God, that was not a God I wanted to follow.