The Family that Sacrificed Me for Becoming SCZ

Mine turned everyone in my family against me. I’ve been living in a different state for a long time dealing with scz. I was working so hard to beat it for so many years, and not contacting much of them very often except my brother. I thought I would prove that I would be somebody with college and my own business when it succeeded after a few years, but then my brother started to turn against me, and I found out that none of them care about me or want me to come back. I thought I just had to keep climbing, and I could come back and be one of my family again.

I found out that my dad talks negatively about me all of the time. I remember one time I was still fairly bad off in my scz but not the worst it ever was since I had finally learned I was scz, and I was visiting my brother and his family who had moved near my ma and pops. My ma came over to my brother’s house for Christmas dinner, and when she went back, my dad had chained up the gate onto their property with a lock she didn’t have a key too. She had work in the morning, and she had to drive several hours to get there on a one way trip to. She was crying on the phone to us about it as she was going to walmart to get a bolt cutter to get on the property. They live in the woods deep back away from the road on a big property.

In the last few years my pops was ignoring me and so on, and I piped up about the bad things he had done to me and my family in the past. He said I was not one of his family, and that my last name is not mine any more. He said that I need to just go check in to a mental asylum, and that no one in my family ever wants to know I’m alive or was ever a part of my family because they are all embarrassed, and that’s why they all ignore me.

I showed my ma and my aunt via internet, and they just said “okay, well sorry.” They didn’t care.

My ma makes over $150,000 per year, and my pops does something similar per year. They own properties and multiple businesses. They even fly around on big vacations, and they even vacation somewhat close to where I live in the world. I got mad at my ma for never visiting me while I was ill, and she just gave me “pretend excuses” why not, and always just changed the subject.

I wanted to work hard, get well, and succeed because I learned the real value of family and friends, but then as I was doing it getting better and better 360 degrees in every way through the years I found out that I had no family or friends.

I was working on my life and my wellness to get back with my old friends, and finally when I had remade myself again strong and well enough to get a hold of them online, they just ignored me completely no differently than my dad and the others.

Let me tell you this that I know. The loneliness makes the hallucinations much worse, more rabid, and more painful than ever. It is like being eaten alive day after day on and on and on. The only way to decrease it is to just cut them completely out of my mind with the work and devotion I have to what I do.

The only thing I have is capitalism and a republic and the knowledge I load on myself to make it work for me and for it. If it wasn’t for that in this place as well as the internet, I’d be in a soul prison tortured by my scz endlessly hoping for death to find me, and help finally.

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When you are a minority, you are especially exposed. It is especially easy to collectivize a minority against a minority especially someone that is completely alone in his or her differences.

Rather than help, they sealed me away farther and farther away making me as crazy and out of place with my livelihood as they possibly could. Not just my family.

Many people are like this that I encountered while working my ass off to get past the hardest place in my life. They felt incredible doing it, so the just kept doing it and doing it. I had to be tough as nails to manage that often taking control of the situation very carefully with the ability to back up what I wanted to stop. Often I could not say anything though but endure, and just keep figuring them out until I could collectivize people against the centers of it. When I could do that, then it became easier and easier, but it’s not my style. I like being productive not focused in negativity or destructive.

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That’s sad that your family hasn’t been more supportive of you. It’s not your fault that you have an illness. :worried:

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I’m so sorry your family is treating you this way. Do you live alone? In a group home?

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I share a home with other people while working on projects. I’ll get my own when I’m done with my projects. I’m kind of going to college online basically.

I’m sorry your family turned their backs on you.

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Well at least you have people around you. It’s less lonely that way.

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It was a shocker that added to the shocker of my life which is trying to survive normally as an scz. Lot’s of shockers in my life. Too many to count.

I could look at the past 20 scz years something like this…

I caught on to what was going on with my brains after about 4 or 5 years of peak classic scz and far, far away from home where I had started. I caught on to the fact I was experiencing a huge illusion, I not only had to get to peace of mind while in so much suffering, but I had to see this world in this life for what it is on the other side of my illusions.

I hunted hard for what was going on with everyone else’s brains, and as I was doing it I was taking the normal persons course of life thereby conquering both the scz gauntlet and the normal person’s gauntlets in the past 20 years. So I look at it the last 20 years like this…

It’s behind me now. When I was first beginning the way over full on scz several years ago, I fully anticipated that I was going to be me right now here today looking back to the past at what I never fixed about myself and what I never accomplished. The pure fear of missing out on what this world, universe, civilization, life, and all of the technologies are motivated me just as much as running with my pants on fire from my morbid and anguishing scz. Most of the way I anticipated to re-unite with my family and get married to the woman I had found along the way, but in fact they all split from me right about the same time. I just had to put on the horse blinders and keep working on myself thereby forcing myself to forget about them because the reminders of them would deeply depress me for days, so I couldn’t sleep or getting any work done out of commission in bed because of morbid depression combined with morbid scz. After I realized that they could only decommission me just for remembering anything to do with them, I just never looked back.

I’ve had tons of fall outs, but no one learns nothing from fall outs, so I’ve learned more than the average person who has always had a great family, job security, and friend circle.

You’re amazing. I’m so impressed with your attitude.

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