The Concept of Wanting to be Alive

I can never seem to rid myself of thoughts of suicide and death, it is almost all I think about. These thoughts are far from bothersome though, in fact, I find them to be quite comforting.

Sadness has been all that I have known for almost a lifetime (my lifetime anyway), with each day that passes I grow increasingly tired of life, I cannot seem to grasp the concept of wanting to be alive, because I simply don’t, and I never have done. I would like to say that happiness has abandoned me, but in truth it was never really there.

I do believe that life just isn’t for some people, and this life certainly isn’t for me. Perhaps in the next life I will finally find what it is that I desire, until then I can merely hope that ‘it’ finds me.

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Are you on any meds? If you’re having suicidal ideation then you should be.

The one exception is if a medicine itself actually causes suicidal ideation, in which case you should change it asap.

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No I’m not, I am strongly against medication for myself due to numerous reasons, though I am supportive of medication for those who it is genuinely effective for.

My experience with all psychiatric medication can be pretty much summed up by that one sentence, yet that would still only scrape the surface as to why I will never take medication.

Still, thank you for your advice, if it was anyone else, I would be recommending the exact same thing.

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I don’t want to die, but I live life with little desire to go on. Not something I think about day in and day out.

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