I haven’t felt so sick in years, i haven’t’ been living with my understanding of what i have and what sz is for that long but i haven’t felt this way in a long time. Like maybe 4 /12 years since i graduated high school and completely felt like i crashed. the year preceding graduation i feel into a sleep like trance for almost half a year and when i came too i felt like people were just making bad choices, friends and family’s alike i saw and felt them, what it feels like now, running themselves into the ground, losing precious energy’s and for all i can remember losing their youths to drugs and alcohol. Now most of them are on the way to the rest of their lives, which i find sad because now i find myself feeling almost the same way… maybe i miss companionship and love, partners and significant others, defiantly miss those. Now i feel like i live with the people i call the manipulators, they are bad and good, loving and full of hate upon those that oppose me and always living on a thin line between reality and retroactive madness.
I hope i make it through soon,
I did get some food in my body while i was working on this post, i feel a little better now
i get to go see the P’doc tomorrow, truly wonderful.
hug.