Paisley is a pattern? 
cool 
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paisley patterned dress
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Ohhhhhhh 
that sounds preeeety 
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It actually sounds summery.
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I think I’ve drank too much coffee today. I’m feeling kinda anxious 
It’s really cool to meet and talk to other people on the board, from all walks of life.
Also, I feel a certain kinship to those I share heritage with.
Nonetheless 
all of you.
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Coffee definitely does that. And it’s so hard to cut down
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It really is! I have only had my usual – 4 cups.
I’m probably feeling weird because I slept in today.
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I am realizing that I am way too much demanding on myself in every aspects of my life. And I’m too hard on myself. I never consider at all my comfort, what I like and what is good for me.
For example, recently, I imposed myself to change my job and to go to a lot of job interviews at the same time as preparing myself to a trip in Europe. At first, I was uncomfortable with that, but I finally decided to did it because I didn’t take enough in consideration what is good for me. I always do what I should, rarely what I like. The result is that I end up with a major breakdown, and I may even not be able to go to my trip.
I will never do the same kind of error. At least, I will try because I don’t want to pay the price again.
What about you? Are you also like me?
Might be going to an art event to sell/display my paintings and art novelty items like greeting cards next month! I messaged a local studio with pics of my paintings and they called me on the phone with an invitation. i’ll be getting more info this coming week, the dude was busy with some other event.
The only caveat is that he made me make a commitment to go, and it’s in another town so i have to get a ride from someone to take all my stuff (my car doesn’t run well on the freeways and i hate driving long term). I have to borrow a ride, borrow money to buy some frames for some prints I ordered, and then get my art and stuff to whatever city it is in on the day of and stay there the entire time (I hate staying in one place for hours, ugh). I said, yes I’m committed and he said good, i’ll send you info next week. NERVOUS!
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I feel so bad because I’m not going to work tomorrow. I don’t even know how I will manage to go at work one day this week. The company needs me for various projects. If I’m not there, the company is in trouble!
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I’ve noticed the radio station I listen to plays a lot of fast paced 80’s stuff during the day.
Then at night they play a lot of the kinda stuff I like (mellow 60’s and 70’s music).
@HQuinn You’re going to do great. Don’t be nervous 
(I know, easy for me to say) But I’m sure it will all work out fine.
@anubis Try to take things one day at a time.
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I’ve been feeling slightly better. I slept after the 25 mg of buspar. It’s so old though. I don’t think I was in the right mind when I was prescribed it because I don’t remember taking any.
Anyways I think the reason I was having problems was because I had a little bit of caffiene from those mexican cokes in the glass bottles the past few days. I was already mad last night and I just woke up VERY mad today.
Anyways. I’ll refrain from doing that again.
I have been given L-theanine this weekend by a homeopath. I just saw that it has an impact on the receptors in the brain.
Is it a good idea to take L-theanine without talking about that to my psychiatrist?
After all, the homeopath doesn’t know at all my diagnosis so is he really sure that my brain needs that?
What if L-theanine has an impact in my brain which is not good for me?
Don’t take it. It raises dopamine. And it’s made naturally by the body anyways as long as you eat the right food. If you take too much for too long, you could lose the ability to make it yourself at all. And then you’ll be fukt
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Thanks for the advise!!! I was not aware of that.
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“I’m in love with the world
through the eyes of a girl
who’s still around
the morning after.” - Elliot Smith
I’m quite very unhappy about the help we are getting here in the province of Québec. Since last Friday, I’m in a situation which requires help as soon as possible. 
I called 811 last Saturday to ask what I could do to get help quickly and they only answered me to call the nurse at the psychiatric office this Monday. Since then, my condition got worse each day. Because of that, I won’t be able to work tomorrow and probably not for the entire week also! 
I have experiences with the emergency and I know that I would not have been welcomed there. The doctors there would have been angry against me if I had been there. They were always like that each time I went there while I was sick before 2013. In fact, the nurse on 811 never told me to go to the emergency. It is not for no reason.
Here we pay nothing to be treated by doctors but we also get nothing! 
Here the psychiatric office is closed during all the weekends so nobody answers to the phone for the emergencies. I don’t know at all what I will get from my call tomorrow. It’s impossible for me to wait for my appointment with my psychiatrist Friday, I have to get help quicker than that.
I’m also very unhappy to see my psychiatrist only 2 times a year. This is really not enough. If I had saw her more often, I wouldn’t be in a breakdown actually. I have actually many pages of notes on my cell phone about things I have to tell her but I will never have enough time.
This is the last two days of free time before i start to work again. I would like to read but i cant. i cant remember what i read in 5 minutes and it makes comprehension really difficult. i wish to read up and get some new ideas out of the book. it would be great to practice some exercise. but i cant. life is not interesting otherwise when i only manage to repeat what i could do in the past. i feel limited.
I’m bored.
sigh