Resources?

This is so difficult. I’ve been “schizophrenic” since I was sixteen. I’ll call it bipolar only because of the burden of stigma. I’m now dependent on medication and I can’t sleep without it. It blocks my creativity but keeps me quiet. The other day my brother yelled at me. I sobbed and said “make it rain” I’ve done this before: I then began praying for world peace and made the rain stop. No one knows my powers. I awakened to them after years of oppression about who I am or should be. So I repress the thought of God or nature. I am supposed to fit in, and get a job. I’m not eating. When I was in the hospital I told a patient I could make it rain on a cloudless day and that it would in half an hour. The symptom of people staring at you. My past life memories resurfaced but I have to file them away as dreams. I think that the earth reincarnates like people. That the floods are necessary acts of God. I hear these things lately: God has a plan for you. Don’t worry." I made a vow not to commit suicide so I never will. The burden of proof rests upon an imaginary mass conception. I think time is a circle. I’ve seen through it, as in altered reality even if it is the one, singular place. People invent machines to do what we can. They blast the sky with pollution. I am very sensitive. Who do I talk to? Catholics? Doctors? Family members who dismiss me? I wrote a few journals. I’m kind of falling apart. I deny myself and people tell me not to believe in psychiatry…

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I think you need meds and a group to talk to like some kind of AA or NA or SA…just to get out of your head. Also the meds will slow your creative brain down. It’s creating all these delusions…Mine did and still does the same thing. But then I just think NOPE it’s my creative mind being delusional.

:facepunch:

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I am with @Smprz84 on this all the way along. My mind is full of boys of younger ages who have created entire universes to run off to because they don’t particularly care for the one they kept bumping into in real life. They may not have to deal with the hands they were dealt, but I have to.

That starrynight I diagnosis unofficially because I been there as over eloquence or creativity. We humans and my answer short, can only use our powers before we cross the reality boundary in our heads. There are times you are fine I am sure. We all have our good days. But better days are with are best medicines always. Take care.

I’ll just watch movies…

One guy thought he made it snow once.

Trick of the mind. They got him good.

They knew the snow was coming and made him think things about it, he thought it was him doing it. They can do that with alot of things and in different ways, gets them everytime.

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Ruff ruff ruff :dog2:

Im sttill thinking f****k the world.

I guess no one has any idea of resources. It’s been just me taking care of my mom these past few weeks. She wakes me up periodically I’ve been sleeping in the livingroom because the cat used my bedroom as a bathroom and she peed on all my clothes and everything. My mom has a huge room with air conditioner. She yells at me every day. I’m too weak to do anything.

Can I help you with any advice on the cat pee in your room? I know it’s not your main problem, but if you think it would help to be able to use your room again and get out of the living room, I maybe might have some suggestions for you. I don’t want to dump them on you if it’s not something you’re able to tackle right now, though.

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@StarryNight, make it rain where I live please, we are desperate for water and all my plants are dying.

Baking soda neutralizes cat pee odor -trust me on this one,I have 6 indoor only cats- If you love that cat put a large shallow pan/litter box with litter in it next to the outside door.
They sell these as dog training potty pans at pet stores.

As for you,
look for resources to help care for your mom that doesn’t cost you anything, whether it be coming in your house for a few hours or getting her outside for fresh air.

Caregiving is difficult.
You need a life too.
Let those properly trained help you help her, and maybe it will relieve some of your symptoms.

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You know what really intrigues me? How dopamine/dopamine inhibitors/ withdrawal from dopamine inhibitors/ up regulation of dopamine inhibitors after a failed withdrawal attempt… Seem to lay the same exact introspective nightmare upon us all…

Try watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas starring Johnny Depp. It might show you which way is up.

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Yea that movie .

…showed me what
Is whds

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