I just did a search on the forum and I have created at least 5 different topics about resentment.
I resent almost everything in my life. Not sure if it is real or due to the illness or ‘my issues’ or just life in general.
I resent the depression and the psychosis and the way it affects almost every aspect of my life. I hate the way my thinking gets twisted so negatively.
A lot of bad things happen but that’s true for everyone. Can’t appreciate the good without having been through the bad. I love this about life. Everything that I am is a result of what I have been through , Illness included. So I don’t resent anything even though I may feel it at times.
You can start by surrounding yourself with people with a pleasant personality.
Then you can try changing the others, one at a time… or just ignore them
I have come to a point I guess @Andrey that I no longer care to change something.
Because I believe it won’t be better than this, you know? Might be a bit of depressive behaviour but I believe so so ‘this is it’ i may be the one with the issue as my friends and even people who are not so well are so different in their behaviour and outlook… you know?
It may be the anhedonia. so I do not search for a solution. What is there to solve?
I’ve learned to accept the things I resented as stepping stones to compasssion and understanding others better…otherwise, I’d be in jail for wringing stupid folks skinny necks.
I guess I have certain beliefs about life and they are very well stuck with me.
Certain way I believe my life and things should be. And it never became.
So it makes me so frustrated that I got a life I never imagined because of my own choices + an unexpected mental illness.
The idea of what my life should be is so different. So maybe this is why I am always in resentment.
I am also afraid to try and change things, bc my situation is complicated and other than that, it could get even a lot worse.
I really resent the stigma of the illness, especially since seeing the contrast of having just a physical ailment (Acoustic Neuroma which is an ear tumor). These doctors know what they are doing. Schizophrenia is having a shotgun pointed at your head while you wait for the trigger to be pulled.
I resent the lack of knowledge or even a whiff of effort for a cure or solid treatment. I mean, FFS. What are we animals!?
I understand your dillemma all too well.
I had similar thought about my life right before the psychosis started. Right now my existence is in shambles, I have the opportunity to start anew, but maybe I will never recover from this illness. Or maybe I will. But at least I know myself much better and I have made peace with he past and with the world…
Sooner or later you will have to make peace with the world too. Otherwise you will live in bitterness till the very last breath…
Changing yourself is much easier than changing the world, which is impossible unless you are Buddha or Jesus or Mohammed… and you aren’t
yeah… I do not know how to make peace. I am fighting with myself, the illness, the past, the present, the frustrations, the loneliness, the people in my life, my family. I guess I need some anxiety pill And the funny thing is, everybody in my life, loves me. They are so happy with me and so impressed by me Lol!
The illness makes up so much of my life that it is hard to say I resent my illness without saying I resent my whole life. I really do resent and hate a lot about my illness.