Question For Everyone

Feel as if I am agreeing because I know I’m not equating, when I know I could and should be better

And disagreeing by just going with the flow of certain things

This is basically me… or at least it used to be. Years ago I was diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. Saying no and expressing disagreement back then was excruciating, if not downright impossible.
Now I’m not so sure… I think I just don’t care anymore. I say whatever.
My emotions are flatter and my thoughts are just… whatever.

Avoidance and excuses by way of lies can be only way to decide ‘I shouldn’t be here’…Some people in my area have gotten some pretty extreme mental problems here even aggressive manipulator/psychopathic/pathological liar types acting like the nice guy from next door and do a 180 as the churches are advocating a lot of hate against some groups, especially ‘thieves’ who needed disability pay after mental care following PTSD and 10+ years of psychosis.

I’ve come across another group of abusers and followers several times as this city bites in so many places, can be called to serve a lot of masters if you want to follow orders from the voices. The business networking is screwing out people and putting in their own and social event clubs/causes attacking new members to do dirty business favors or mistress motivators…I guess I’m in a bad area. I could usually get away from these situations as I’m just average looking lady and overweight…I act like I don’t understand the threats or watching someone else being mistreated. I wait a little while before making excuses of why I cannot come back to the group like working on that day … Avoid anyone you met from the group. Best to memorize where these worked so you can avoid the business for shopping or applying there for work, especially if you ran into someone bragging about harming people or doing illegal stuff, OR talks about Jesus strangely.

Rest is handled by ‘I see’, ‘you don’t say’ and ‘I didn’t know’…NEVER STATE AN OPINION OR INTERACT ON THE SUBJECT. Try to act like you are busy while the ranter or wind bag is talking it up and try to excuse yourself. May need to leave situations by slipping out the back door after stating you are going to use bathroom.

Yeah I might try this out and adopt this philosophy because I’m one to rarely say no. [quote=“Hybrid, post:8, topic:76697”]
I hold honesty very highly, and quite a lot of the time a part of being honest does include the ability to disagree.
[/quote]

It depends on the situation. If it’s something trivial that is not worth arguing over, I may just go along. Also, I often have a hard time saying no to someone who needs my help. Other times, though, I assert myself. It seems to depend on what the particular situation calls for.

1 Like

I used to have a very, very hard time saying no to anyone, when I was young. And it got me into a lot of trouble. Now that I am older, I can and do say no all of the time. I still have a little bit of a problem with it. But, not much.

I got this job at our clubhouse where I clean four bathrooms twice a week. They pay me ten dollars a week to do this. I do the cleaning during day treatment, and people often need to use the bathroom while I’m cleaning, much to my chagrin. I’m sure that if I saw it from their perspective I would be more sympathetic, but, darnit, I want to hurry up and get the cleaning done. Sometimes when I’m cleaning a bathroom I make people wait until I’m done. Also, there is the issue of toilet paper. People were hounding me for toilet paper while I was cleaning, and I kept telling them that the man who had the key to where they kept the toilet paper was in a meeting and couldn’t be found. They were still impatient. I also let them know that they can get the toilet paper too, when it’s available. I sometimes wonder if getting the toilet paper fits in with my job description. I’m supposed to clean four bathrooms twice a week. Staff has never said anything about toilet paper to me.

1 Like

I have a horrid time with saying no, I can do it written so on an email most of the time but face to face I find it near impossible

1 Like

I am not at all confrontational. I realize saying “no” doesn’t mean you are confrontational but I tend to put it in my brain that way. I think it has to do with a hx of being abused. It breaks you and you end up not being able to say no when it is the correct answer.

1 Like