Me too. You are not alone in this feeling. I'm glad you had the courage to post even that.
To be honest Schizophreniacs tend to scare me. There said it. My girlfriend's room mate had schizophrenia when i was in college, in the mid to late 1990's, i was there for one Personality alter switch. My girlfriend at the time said "her psychiatrist said she had schizophrenia and 36 personalities and that number was small for schizophrenia, they usually have around 60." So, after readiing some of these posts, i'm confused as towhat schizophrenia really is.
Fellow Mitochondria disease patients, also scare me. Yes, i have Mito, it's not a waste basket illness nor is it a mental illness, it's a genetic illness that affects both physical and mental systems.
By the way, I'm not Diagnosed with schizophrenia yet. But i have MELAS (Mitochondria Encephalomyopathy Lactic Acidosis Stroke like episodes). Due to a mitochondria DNA mutation. I've read Schizophrenia is common with MELAS and other form of Mitochondria diseases. I found this site after googling "Pubmed early signs of schizophrenia." And after it scaring the bejesus out of me. 1. Symptoms fit me pretty darn well. (only I've had auditory halucinations when i mixed an experimental medication with a caffinated drink, bad. It brought back my paranoia of hackers they scare me more than demons, cause don't believe in em. I do believe people can be pretty cruel at times).
I have been diagnosed with MELAS (mtDNA A3243G), and Severe &/or Atypical Depression (antidepressants do not play well with Mitochondrial disease. Nor do most Pychotropic Medications.)
And i've been diagnosed with MELAS diabetes (worst of type 1 Insulin dependant and type 2 insulin resistant, )
My psychiatrist, says to me "Jewho, anata wa nani ga aru noni, mita kotoga nai. Anata no seishinbyo tetsudau koto ga dekinai." 'Jeff, You have something. I've never seen it before. I can't help you with your mental illness.' I live in Japan. Kinda sucks.
I had a bad reaction to Keppra, an anticonvusant that's supposed to be mitochondria safe. Caused paranoia, Some sort of other personaility disorder (most likely avoidant Personality disorder, Though an online personality test, also included i was high in Depression and possibly schizoaffective, and paranoid personality disorder. I haven't had the courage to talk to my psychaitrist about it. )
I've recently Deleted my FB account due to paranoia of hackers.
Listening to First Contact (vocal mix) by Erasure now.
I'm glad you had the courage to post that. That gave me the courage to post this.