Anybody else lost their control of thought and basic actions (such as abandoning a strict diet or everyday exercises) after developing sz? Ofcourse voices and “implanted” thoughts are already signs of this loss of control but has anybody lost their religious/irreligious faith and or political beliefs that you held dear after sz kicked in? Just curious.
Due to the negative symptoms… I abandoned life… I sat very still for hours and hours… consumed by the head circus.
I had a hard time getting up and moving… I had a hard time even thinking of what to do in a day.
For a while, I even quit swimming. I still loved to swim… but to get up… get stuff together and get to a pool? Far too complicated at the time.
I lived in my pajamas for almost a year…
if my family did pull me out of bed… get me into the bath… and get me out… I was still numb and none of it felt real.
I used to get stuck in the word loop… It’s where a phrase would just be the only thought… and just loop and loop… and loop… and I couldn’t think of anything else for a while… I’d just freeze physically because I couldn’t break out of the word loop.
As far as being politically or socially active? It took a lot of work just to get up… brush my teeth… pee… have a smoke…
My family had to remind me to eat… the deep negatives were pretty hard for me.
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I lost my one great hobby of making music for a few years, for a year I didn’t even listen to other music either, that was a dark period of anhedonia. Picked up on my hobby about half a year ago though and so far I’m enjoying myself.
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I used to be an avid reader. I loved books of all and any kind. I devoured them. Now, I can barely sit and read a paragraph. Between the constant noise in my head and negative symptoms, it’s next to impossible.
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I was Christian before my illness. Now I’ve become an atheist, I don’t believe in the soul theory anymore. This illness has taught me that “I” am a product of some sophisticated but otherwise completely material physiochemical processes that take place in my brain and body. My religion is now hard science. This illness has deprived me of many things. I also used to read and enjoy music and sport, now it’s all gone…
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I lost control of myself and still havnt got back in control 
anyways hopefully things get better 
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There are too many things to take care of that occupy my time/mind - basics of life I can’t keep up with to expand my interests + focus my attention + energy on them.
How about that as a long sentence.? That’s my life in a nutshell - has been for some time.