Inaugural speech by a semi-fictional character: Drump addresses the nation

(radio host voice): This is the official Inaugural address to the citizens of Strangeland.

Drump:
Ahem
(sniff)
(cough)
(loudspeaker: “may i have your attention please”)
Today marks the day
that I will begin ■■■■■■■ you all over
Please watch your step
and remember:
sit, fetch, and roll over.
You are my pets,
I promised electing me won’t be one of your regrets,
so lets
all go batshit crazy and develop some Tourette’s
(ballsack)
()
(
)
()
(
)
Wait,
what was this rap about,
oh yeah,
As leader of your nation,
I promise to reduce the rate of strangulation,
throughout the land,
and remove all members of alien races,
(notice how much my face is,
straining,
In yellow dye my hair is draining)
on top of all of that I will make an executive order
To create a nation similar to that of Mordor,
I will bring the streets more whores,
more adult stores,
less bor-
ing.
Wait,
I have this speech written on my hand,
and next up is a really shitty band,
To end this speech I will summarize:
If I ■■■■ you over I will not apologize,
I will simply fly away
to leave you all alone while the chaos unfolds,
(cough)
Now get me my private chopper to get me out of this cold…

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It was always a toss. Four years of Trump’s hair versus four years of Hillary’s painted on fake smile.

It was a no win situation in my book.

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Hmm. Nomad I’m guessing you don’t like trump. Still I don’t think he is going to be as bad as everyone thinks he is. I wonder what things the republicans. My hint is very little. Republican usually don’t do that much aside for something small that gets hyped up democrats as being something big. I would like to see them do something big. It would be nice to see them fix the economy as the unemployment rate everybody touts is a lie. The labor force participation rate has been decreasing since the 70s or the 80s last time I checked. Also it would be nice if they could fix the inner cities that are in a deplorable state despite decades of democrat rule in many cities. Democrats aren’t perfect either.

:joy::joy::joy: hahahaha thank you

Republicans: what is an art museum for again?

why do we need a fountain down on the plaza?

how much is the bus fare, that’s it??

When can we ship this bad location overseas?

NO NO NO you’re taking anybody’s guns away!

Republicans seem to be a party of accountants sometimes. It would be nice if they cared for the arts. I think it is because hollywood is super liberal and doesn’t support them. Whenever an actor turns out is republican they post that actors face everywhere. Of course then that actor usually mysteriously doesn’t get anymore parts and it scares others that could be republican.

Also republicans care about the 2nd amendment.

lots of political threads.

things must be happening, outside my home…

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totally brilliant - great writing