I hope you keep busy but also pace yourself with balance and contentment. Grief is really hard to deal with. Find balance in everything that you do and I hope for your success in getting through this!
I also hope you get the volunteer position. And the best way to keep moms company is whenever youāre around, try to keep a genuine smile and be encouraging. Your positivity will spread like wildfireā¦ Like a seed being implanted in her heart.
I have never left Europe, but it would be really cool to visit that part of the world! Iām a little anxious about travelling alone nowadays despite having done it often in the past but am very curious about the contemplative lifestyle of eastern monks, I guess they exist in Nepal also, so I would probably try to hangout with those folks if I ever go there. Do you have any monks in your area? Are they just merry people living a simple lifestyle?
Yeah there are lots of Gumbha(monasteries) around my city ā¦
Buddhism was originated from Nepalā¦!!!
i am in touch with few monk locallyā¦
the best part i believe in monk life izā¦Meditation
i am practicing meditation been 13 days ā¦yesterday i felt lil psychosis triggerā¦!!!
but iāll continue iit till the day i can tolerate itā¦!!!
How did U like monks life style though u European guys are Mostly from christian backgroundā¦???
Nope Nepal wasnāt part of india at any timeā¦
it is sovereign,independent country ā¦
Buddha was born in Nepalā¦!!
He got Salvation and died In Indiaā¦!!!
I was reading a lot of Jung back in 2012, and that led me to religious writings, like christian apocryphas, hermeticism and eventually buddhism.
What struck me first were the four noble truths, the first official teaching of the Buddha to his former ascetic companions, after meeting the old man on the road. I really liked the simplicity of the teaching, without any superior entity and all, simply stating āthere is sufferingā was a huge breakthrough to me.
A few months later I went to a three days meditation retreat, never had meditated in my life, and really had an amazing experience after one meditation session where I stood up, left the room and looked through a window only to see a woman I had never met starring at a tree. It is one of the most beautiful memories I have in my life and nothing special really happened, I just felt super light and at peace with myself and my surrondings, like I was high on equanimity. I realized later, after analysing that moment, that happiness is not in the stories we tell ourselves, it was really a moment void of narrative looking at that stranger, but there was something almost visceral, in the sense that my body was silently feeling such a well being, not really in a sensuous way like pleasure, but more like a presence within you that has all the time in the world. A bodily knowledge, really silent, intuitive. Canāt really explain
Iāve been meditating on and off since, with periods in which I meditate almost three hours a day and periods in which weeks pass and I only meditate when I take a bus somewhere, during the trip. Itās a really cool skill which with train you can practice almost in any conditions.
I went to my sisterās house yesterday to dine and see the game with some friends. I also told her about the ideia of throwing something in the river, to which she replied āletās throw my dog!ā. Now, Iām friendās with almost any animal (I sometimes spend a lot of time chasing small bugs like ants and moths that get in the house out of it so I donāt have to kill them), and knowing the dog like I do I thought to myself āthe guy will be terrified!ā so I abandoned the ideia. We ended up just throwing a lot of cheese on the floor, which was unintentional.
Perhaps later Iāll fill the bath tub and throw a toilet brush in it just for the giggles, it would be a very similar reenactement.
I will say a prayer for your dad, David. I was you some 35 years ago. Looking for answers. Lurking on Schizophrenia.com. Absorbing the posts/too paranoid to post your own questions and let alone ask about feelings. Eventually I got a user id
Keep a journal. Take up the pen to clear your mind. Surprise yourself. You will learn that the meds help, not hinder you. I havenāt been on the unit in 16 years. Youāll make it. I can tell from your letter that you like I, will beat this demon of a disease. Keep Going! Your future looks quite bright to me.