I know this is kind of a weird thing, but man I can’t wait until the day I’m finally freed from this body. I am so sick of the constant urges and cravings and in general earthly desires. I don’t want to bother with eating or drinking anymore, don’t want to feel sexual desire. I don’t want any of it. It gets in the way of everything that is important to me!
Mainly they act as competitors for my desire for God. I want God to be the only thing I desire. I want to be close to him. I want to be able to put others’ needs above my own. I have been working on combatting the natural narcissism that seems to come with youth (my generation especially) and acting out of humility. I want to change myself for the better and those STUPID bodily needs just get in the way and irritate me.
Aside from being high maintenance by body also feels like a prison. While I’m stuck in it I can’t do anything, I’m not my true self. I love the Earth and its inhabitants, but oh man will I be relieved to shed this bothersome flesh and go back to where I came from at the end of all of this.
Sorry if that didn’t make to much sense, just something I’ve been struggling with lately. (Actually constant anger and frustration is also something I’ve been struggling with, which is confusing and frightening because I think such ugly thoughts but that isn’t like me at all, I’m usually so slow to anger, it was an emotion I rarely felt…ugh)
Well for your health sake, is your body a temple for god? You should respect your body and treat it well as that is God’s temple according to the bible. He would probly be pleased for you to eat healthy and drink clean water
What if learning to cope with and overcome your bodily desires is a prerequisite for getting closer to your God? Why would you be placed in your situation if not to learn from it and grow? It could be that your desire to be free of your body is actually moving you farther away from God, and the shortest path back to Him is to get the treatment you need to be more comfortable with who you are and where you are.
Just thought I’d share something I thought was interesting.
Last night in my dream I went to the market and found two men harassing the shopkeeper. I confronted them and the men told me that they were Seraphim who had fallen to Earth because of some terrible accident. Seraphim are the angels closest to God, all they do is sing praises around him all day, so they were absolutely devastated and experiencing physical pain at being so far from him and trapped on the physical plane.
They had gone to the shopkeep because she knew a remedy that could ease them of their pain for God, but she wouldn’t give it to them. I used mind control to make her do it. The remedy involved smearing them in animal blood or something. Afterwards they felt much more relieved and were grateful to me.
Not sure what the full meaning is, but the seraphim definitely represent the struggle that I was talking about here!