Hello to all of you. as I have said before, I'm on risperdal. Right now my dose is very low so I feel much better, but I still have some concerns.
My problem is that I am a writer, and this is something very important to me. As important as life itself, so I don't take it lightly... the thing is that risperdal has made me lose my creativity and my mental speed. I am now capable of writing, and I've written some short stories, but I don't have the storytelling strength and prowess I had a year ago (in which I finished two novels and lots of short stories).
I will stop my medication. Since I have is delusional disorder, and I am getting practically to my previous level, this is neither risky nor dangerous, but just a matter of time.
What I am concerned with is that I don't know if I'll ever be as good as I used to be. I was, and people told me, a very good writer. Very creative, very skilled in prose and character and plot. I knew my craft, and life would be meaningless to me if I couldn't write again as I used to.
Will I recover my previous speed when I stop risperdal? Will my brain go back to the fast pace it had when I wrote? Or I'll have to deal with this slow mind?
This is a matter of work, creativity, lifestyle and legacy... the most important thing to me.