LOL nah!!! It just seemed like a mess yesterday…everything was out of sorts, now today is a new day and everything seems right. I am full of energy and spark and happiness today ! And my life keeps improving as time goes on!
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First Insomnia attack, PTSD flashbacks, REALLY TERRIBLE MENTAL CARE TRYING TO DISCREDIT THE PEOPLE WHO MET THE WEALTHY SEX ABUSER…eventually nervous break as flashbacks were so bad. Got attacked by mental care staffers when I put myself in mental hospital when voices started, 10 people attacked me to yank my clothing off when I was cooperating. I just melted down and started swinging so got locked in screwed up mental care teen longer. Turned into major depressive episode, voices turned on later and never shut off. Insomnia hangs on BAD as I hear it so much.
My dad started thinking something was wrong when I was around 9 and my parents got divorced. I started acting out and withdrew and my temper got worse.
I guess my first unexpected mood swing was when I was 12. My Dad’s gf yelled at ne fir being mean to her kid even though I was helping him find his shoes. (like i said in anither thread, she was jealous). She yelled and talked ■■■■ before but that didn’t bother me until then and to this day I don’t know why I got so upset.
From then on it was just anger but nothing really psychotic until about 17 or 18 when I started getting really anxious from this girl who would hang around me. She invited me to her house and I thought she was nice so I went over there and the anxiety got worse. I became afraid for my life and one day we were just sitting alone and I choked her. I barely remember that day but all I know is that the next day I blacked out and I was put in the mental hospital. I don’t know why I choked her but I remember a feeling in my head like something ticked it that caused uncontrollable instant rage that I couldn’t stop myself from and finally stopping myself when I came to.
For a couple months before I had wicked bad depression and anxiety. I kept a journal that had beliefs in them that I thought was going to make me famous. But other than that I was fairly normal. Then out of nowhere I started to get these “genius” ideas and I thought I was having a spiritual awakening. I was very manic and thought the world of myself. Wanted to start a cult. Thought I unlocked the similarities between all religions. And weirdly enough… I started to become obsessed with figuring out schizophrenia and what it was. Actually in my notepad i wrote down “don’t believe in these 100% because this will lead to schizophrenia” (because that’s what I thought schizophrenia meant back in the day. That you just believed in crazy things) after a while my friends started talking to me saying hey you might have schizophrenia so that’s when I started to seek help.
i had a trigger in my seventeens
"sky fell down on my head"
after that i was getting more and more disconnected from reality
It was gradual. I slipped into madness over a period of two years. But I didn’t realize it at the time; but looking back I see where it might have started in high school, and then diagnosed at age 19. When I was in my mid-twenties my dad told me he noticed i started getting weird and withdrawn in seventh grade. And then my mom told me she thought something was wrong when I was 17 but she didn’t know what it was.
Mine started in my teens. First was a panic attack. Then severe depression amd feeking like my privacy was invaded or ppl knew stuff about me or were taping me, spying on our home. All parinoid ideas. Then itensity in social situations. Feeling like the lecturer was speaking directly to me in a room full of 400 ppl. Delusions, thinking my flatmate was seeing my ex bf when she never met him or once she did i think. Feeling negative emotions id never had before. Started with irritability / angry short temper. Im 35 now and its been a long lonely road but im coping good. Would love to improve more in some areas. Very greatful that ive come such a long way and am a lot better now. 
I had unprotected sex and developed a really strong delusion I had contracted hiv. This went on for years.
I too have some delusions that last for years, its a nightmare. I just try to keep busy and fill my time.
I felt like I was being watched by something I couldn’t see. Then it turned into delusions, visual hallucinations, and hearing voices. I also have felt, tasted, and smelled things others couldn’t
@rainbowstars This sounds similar to me but I’m scared because I don’t want to have schizophrenia or be diagnosed with it. I keep waiting for the symptoms to go away but they keep getting more intense :\ .
Only meds may stop your symptoms.
I agree with this. Although it didn’t stop me from wanting to trigger myself for more episodes, being that the first one was so “good”.
Nobody knows what to prescribe me. The GP says it’s up to the mental health team because they’re the experts but then they just act surprised when I tell them that the GP hasn’t given me any.
To be honest, I don’t even know what’s happening with me. Every appointment I attend, I just get asked loads of questions and there doesn’t seem to be any treatment plan. Maybe I’m being impatient.
What about the pdoc?
Can’t you try her meds meanwhile? Does the mental health team know about her prescription?
@zeno Yeah but they just gave vague opinions like “you need to weigh out the pros and cons of the medication to decide if it’s worth it for you”. + I only see them once every 2 weeks. They don’t seem to think it’s obligatory or anything.
I think I’ll just self medicate for the time being, aka keep whispering “shut up, shut up, shut up, go away, go away, go away” under my breath.
Edit: The meds she prescribed is quetiapine. Sounds like some kind of poison you’d use in chemistry class.
???
Many here are on it. 