High Anxiety

So we’re planning a two/three day trip up to Iowa to visit my grandma and celebrate her 90th birthday. The problem is my dad’s family is large. He had six sisters and four brother’s, all of them are married, and have kids of their own…some just one , some like 5. and 90% of the family is expected to be in this small town for the weekend.

I’ve had one panic attack today as I was getting things ready. I couldn’t find Kitty’s stuff for when we’re away. She has a dry-food dispenser and water dispenser for when we’re gone, otherwise we just use the bowls attached to the dispensers when we’re gone. First I couldn’t find her food dispenser. Then I found that I couldn’t find the lid off her water dish…so I got into a panic. Fortunately we found everything. I have it set. My bag is packed, I’m ready.

But I’m still extremely nervous about going out of town, and being crowded with my dad’s family and am worried I’ll slip up and have more panic attacks while I’m there. Or I’ll go slip up and have uncontrollable hallucinations. I’m just so nervous and worried right now.

I admire you for traveling. That is so difficult.

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Road trips are the best thing ever…and if you fly…(get a new outfit for the airport competition).

Airport competion?

A family gathering can be a good time. Try to enjoy it. That’s what I do, in an anxious sort of way.

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I’ve never heard of an airport competition…my tummy is very uneasy but I think it’s just nerve build up. I’m worried, we’ve rented a car to drive up there, and I’m prone to motion sicknesses, and I’m so worried about throwing up and making a mess in the rental. I’m think about taking an empty ice-cream bucket and sticking it on the floor next to me just in case. But the good thing for me is we’re leaving right away in the morning, so I will more than likely sleep most of the way up there. I’ll just put on some music close my eyes and hope for the best.

you’ll be fine…remember to take time out when you are there…
go for a walk in nature
listen to some music on the headphones
give yourself space to breathe.
take care :alien:

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I’m worried if I do need to take space they might get mad at me that I’m not there, or not participating…not that there will be much to participate in…it’s not like group activities or anything. Tomorrow night my parents are going to a near by town with some of my aunt’s and uncle’s for dinner but I’m highly considering getting something at one of the few fast-food joints in town and staying at the place we’re renting for the weekend. Then Saturday we have the actual birthday party which is just cake and ice-cream type of an event and haven’t decided who I’m going to dinner with, several cousins are going to a pizza joint while the aunt’s and uncle’s are going to a more sit-down type restaurant.

But then again this is coming after the party with everyone and I don’t know how my nerves will be. I may decide to like the sit-down dinner place better if it’s a quieter atmosphere. My body is acting up tonight as it’s filled with tension. I can’t seem to relax. I’ve been feeling sick to my stomach but I think it’s just nerves bothering me because I’m getting myself all worked up about being stuck in the car for 8 hours (that’s how long it takes to get to where I’m going). I have some new age chanting type music on in the background trying to relax myself. But the second I close my eyes I’m running through the things I still need to do…like make sure I put my pill container system in one of my bags, make sure I clean up the kitty’s meat bowl so like if she goes to eat it tomorrow night she doesn’t get sick from eating dried out meat. I have to think to remember put my phone and iPod in the bags coming in the car with me. I have to do this, I have to do that…and it’s all little stuff, but that little stuff quickly builds up.

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The bucket is a good idea or a bucket you could wash out and use again, just in case. I felt like I was going to throw up on a plane + the flight attendant brought me a huge white plastic garbage bag. So much for discretion. Whatever works. Listen to darksith.

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At family gatherings I used to hang out with the little kids and just blow bubbles.

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it is normal to get nervous about things…’ muggles ’ do too.
your cat will be fine :cat: she will be there waiting for you when you get back :cat2: for a cuddle… :heart:
make a list of stuff so you don’t forget anything. :book:
you’ll be fine, take a deep breath, enjoy the little moments.
take care :alien:

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My therapist was reminding me today not to set myself up for failure, and basically say the situation is going to be stressful and awful. I think that’s good advice, instead of worrying over everything that could go wrong.

I always say if I can’t think nice thoughts to not think anything at all.