Its been two weeks since my last therapy appointment and I think I’ve been out of the house only three times since then. Its starting to get to me. My anxiety is pretty bad, and I’ve been very critical of my boyfriend. I’m trying to be aware of what I’m saying but it sneaks in. I also have been getting no exercise of any kind. My mom suggested joining the gym close to our house. I think that would be good for me. It would get me out of the house and around other people. I’m so scared my muscles are atrophying so it would get me moving and using my muscles. I hope I can do it. It seems like I only have motivation to do my school work, which is good, but I don’t take care of myself. It’s also really hard to do the simple chores my mom gives me. Before I got sick motivation was never this big of a problem. Does anyone know if it’s chemical in sz? I know it’s a negative symptom, but I’m not sure. I hope I get out of this soon. 
Well I’m sure you’ll have busy periods in your life where you wish you were at home. I try and get out of the house every day to do something. Sometimes I cut it short and head home just to be in a simpler environment. This ■■■■ really gets old. Every night I decide that I’m just gonna give up on socializing and get used to staying home. Then I wake up drink some coffee and eventually I have to leave the house. Get cooped up and bored, the hours fly by when I’m with friends even when there’s not much going on. My experience tends to totally suck though. Sz is like mind rape, I don’t like it at all.
That’s all kind of off topic, good luck finding things to do.
I have a very hard time if there are more then three things on my plate. Considering the focus and energy you put in to school, I can picture that momentum helping you carry on. But a new thing added takes time to get engrained.
The lack of motivation is a killer for me. Because I feel like I wind down so slowly that when I’ve lost my motivation… it seems like a I’ve hit a wall. Some exercise might help.
Getting out is hard, but getting moving did help me fight off the rust brown shut down. It took a while to get moving again… like rusty wheels not ready to turn, but eventually moving a little more… gradually… did help me get up to speed…
If it goes on too long or gets too consuming… then it takes large coffee or a med tinker to mood stabilize me and help me get up and going.
I hope you feel better soon.
Thanks J for your experience. It helps to know I’m not alone. My therapist told me staying in the house could either be anxiety or depression. It’s weird that she brought up depression because I don’t feel depressed, but as it turns out you may not know you’re depressed until you look back at your self. I found out I can get a discount at the gym for being a student. So I’m definitely going to join when my money comes in. 
Glad you get some money off the price tag. Very cool. I always feel better after a stroll on the tread mill… my sis loaded my Ipod up with bird songs and forest noises… so I can pretend I’m on a nice walk through a forest… when the weather is horrid out.
I know… completely confusing… there are times where I feel more hyper and agitated and irritated then what I think depression is. My doc will say… nope… that’s a mild psychotic depression.
It blows me away when I think I have myself figured out… and then I find out… I don’t.
Besides taking the garbage out and checking the mail I haven’t been out of my apartment all winter because my bike is out of commission.
I usually try for at least a few mi. A day.
For me its totally about brain chemistry I guess the adrenaline chemical from excersise forces the toxic chemicals from sz out because right after I get a REAL workout not half ass I feel almost normal.
Then once the adrenaline wheres off im right back where I usually.
I lift weights also and that helps a lot.
I know exactly what you mean. Especially because I’m not your typical psych patient. I read the DSM and research mental illness. So yeah I feel like I have everything figured out. I also like to put everything into neatly labeled packages and as it turns out it’s not that cut and dry.
That’s great you do the treadmill and have calming sounds to listen to. Your sis is awesome! She takes great care of you but I’m sure it’s a two way street.
@petester I’m sorry your bike is out of commission. That makes it a lot harder to get out and go places. That’s great you lift weights though. When I get back into going to the gym I’m going to use the weights. I always found that a lot harder than the aerobic bit I would do. But I would blast some metal on my iPod and push myself and it felt pretty good when I did everything I was supposed to. 