I know what your going through I’ve been there. If you’re able to type on these board you’re better off then I was when I became ill. When I was sick I wouldn’t have been able to. I was so far gone.
I learned from the first relapse I had when I quit taking my medication. I ended up in a psychosis a second time and my doctor told me every time I quit taking my meds it will be harder to recover. My second psychosis was very difficult to get under control. The schizo effects(hallucinations delusions) lasted years. It wasn’t until 3 years after my last psychosis my illness started to let up. My mom also forced me to get a job with my step dad. He looked out for me at work. It put me into social situations. My mind was so scattered at the time I had to relearn how to communicate with people. It was horrible at first I didn’t talk to people and I was having major hallucinations. In the end it was probably the best therapy being around people and communicating. My mind started to correct itself.
Best advice I can give is do not quit taking your medication. If you don’t like your medication ask your doctor to switch. Medication sucks I’ve tried a lot of different meds over the years but only one I can tolerate.
I made the decision many years ago that if I was going to take meds for the rest of my life it had to be on my terms. Thankfully I found a doctor that lets me have a say in what I think is best. He doesn’t force any treatment ideas on me.
My medication didn’t fix everything over night. It was a very slow process that took years.