There was just so much noise and impulsivity in my mind. Like being on a boat just going everywhere. Rough seas. Pot did kind of show me I can just blank it all out. Easier to do when sober though.
I guess I need the active mind. Noise and impulsivity I get. Blanking it out I cannot do. I feel a compulsion to try and connect with others, be it in a dissociative state.
confidence, self-esteem. maybe pot is a lubricant for my older engine mind that is in dire need of reassurance. Pot gives me confidence that a sober state cannot offer.
that’s it, isn’t it? focus your energies on the outside world, rid yourself of the internal chaos. imagine what we could do if we all had a common purpose.