Going Gonzo

I didn’t smoke enough to really feel anything.

The last time I did that it was at a party and I just sat on the couch and tried to control my voices the whole time. Did alright at it too.

Other than that being stoned is being stoned. Everything is all sunk in but you feel more connected to it. At least for me.

what about the evil stuff. that sounds pretty horrific.

I mean that stuff kind of started to taper off.

There was just so much noise and impulsivity in my mind. Like being on a boat just going everywhere. Rough seas. Pot did kind of show me I can just blank it all out. Easier to do when sober though.

I guess I need the active mind. Noise and impulsivity I get. Blanking it out I cannot do. I feel a compulsion to try and connect with others, be it in a dissociative state.

confidence, self-esteem. maybe pot is a lubricant for my older engine mind that is in dire need of reassurance. Pot gives me confidence that a sober state cannot offer.

The blank state is great dude. So much focus on real world stuff instead of internal chaos.

that’s it, isn’t it? focus your energies on the outside world, rid yourself of the internal chaos. imagine what we could do if we all had a common purpose.

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Yeah man. Worlds ■■■■■■. So it goes.

The sz bill of rights:
one: eat a balanced diet
two: exercise everyday
three: sleep as many hours as you need
four: take it easy on yourself

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Good list.

Five: Don’t do drugs lol

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I purposely omitted it. Let’s move that to one.

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Well take care man. I’m calling it a night.

I’m gonna start a new thread, a sz bill of rights, check in, dude.

night man, sleep well.