damn my situation, relationship and illness ruined me for life.
I do not feel desirable anymore. My self esteem is ruined.
If I leave, I think of the future and do not see hope even 5 years later to meet someone I will like and get along with. Or someone i will be happy with or have a family. In my hometown, everyone is broke in my circle of friends and family.
I have not met a guy I think highly of.
If I leave, I will be completely alone for a long time. I don’t like to have sex with strangers in clubs or jump into bed on a date.
I am old fashioned.
But staying here like this, alone and bored. What kind of life is this? I am a potato, gaining weight and eating crap.
I have a MI, I got vitiligo, almost 30, overweight… can not have kids what the hell!!!
It’s frustrating because now even though I’m not overweight anymore I still have stretch marks and I’m self conscious about them. So I guess in that aspect I feel less desirable than before. I had a really great body until stupid Risperidone. And today I found out that Zoloft basically messed up my bladder and either triggered an inflammatory disease in me or messed up my pelvic muscles to where I need physical therapy to fix them. I’m so sick of medications destroying my body.
I am at that point too. During the day I am so sleepy I can barely keep my eyes open to study much less work out. I lost 12 lbs over the summer basically because geodon removed my appetite completely so I was barely eating anything. Once off geodon I gained 2 lbs back
I am on Geodon. But I gained 4 pounds this month it seems since quitting smoking, I am eating a lot more nowadays.
I have to persevere most of my life. That is all I have been doing. Waiting for things to get better. It is not.
But on a serious note, from what I’ve seen @mermaid1 you seem like a very pretty and lovely woman. I’m sure you have many good qualities that will outshine your symptoms from mental illness, making you desirable to the right people
Well I meet alot of men who say I am gorgeous, beautiful etc. mostly online especially. But I do not feel desirable. The men I care for are almost always unavailable.
cant really judge myself…but I’m definitely not as desireable as before. ive gotten a couple girls flirting with me but their not the same kind of girls as before AND its not as much as before also. Its actually considered rare now for me…