I am starting to see myself as being ‘different’ or unique - my therapist tells me this in a friendly sort of way -
Being different can be seen as trendy also. Many celebrities try very hard to stand out and be different, I am this way naturally 
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sorry i can’t read this whole thread right now but i get worried about this often
basically everyone at church is nice and doesn’t bother me, i do get the odd person asking why i’m not working but that is very rare and mostly they don’t ask,
the minister was talking about fraud and money etc on sunday and i was finding myself wondering if it was aimed at me, i thought maybe people of the congregation were talking about me but i can’t believe that because they are so nice to me,
after the prayer night on tues i can say that they like me and i think they are encouraging me, i think i am an asset to that church and they know that because they are all worried about the future of there church, i think it is so hard to trust even if people are so nice so i have got to get past that,
Guess the problem with SZ is that it’s a very dynamic and sometimes random disease. I didn’t think I had the disorder for a while in the past and even rationalized stories proving to myself that I didn’t. I always download my records from the VA and sometimes I’ll read reports about things I said or did that I don’t believe reading it. It’s really a screwy disease and you can’t tell someone has it sonetimes unless you are with them 24/7. My parentsquestioned it before using examples of things I’ve achieved but they don’t understand that I actually do have periods where I can achieve a lot and periods I achieve nothing at all.
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