So this is a bit intense so read carefully and slowly… this is what is going on inside my mind or what is left of it…
I believe that certain people (enemies, friends, teachers, mentors, ugly women, beautiful women, mean nasty people, religious people, kind people, etc) have been introduced to me at different times in my life and that each person represents a certain personality characteristic that I have within myself… For example, I thought that through the Hell I have been through in life (traumatic experiences, PTSD, repressed memories, etc) that I was sent a guardian angel named “A” we will call him, and A helps me out in all aspects of life. I also believe that person named “B” was sent to show me the nasty, evil, dark side of me that is buried within my mind because of repressed memories and trauma. I feel that these people are in my life for one reason only … TO TEACH ME HOW TO BE A BETTER HUMAN BEING. PERIOD. I feel that someone is showing me these people in a way that shows different parts of who I am projected onto other people who are as follows: a girl who is beautiful on the inside but average on the outside…person “C” and a woman who is smoking hot on the exterior but might not be the most attractive on the inside/shallow…person “D”, and then I think I have found my soul mate being this women who has everything I have ever NEEDED not wanted, in my life in that she is drop dead gorgeous on the outside, would make an incredible mother, and likes a LOT of things that I enjoy or like in my life…she is person “E”.
As wild and delusional as all of this is…it is like I am living in a computer simulation that has the objective of preparing me for something big, something I cannot even describe but that I have a purpose on this planet to discover something, invent, design, and possibly save the human race before we blow ourselves up!
Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Advice? I see psychiatrist tomorrow, and I take Latuda and Zoloft currently.
I don’t even think that its a diagnosis anymore…doesn’t ptsd cover a lot of that? It’s actually DID in the literature.
Schizophrenia does strange things to your brain. Then you read things and it influences your thinking. I thought like that once because when I was diagnosed I had no idea what schizophrenia was. Everything you describe could be the result of scizophrenia. It’s always the medication which is the important thing. Diagnsosis is a bit more flexible these days.
If you think about it, everyone has a bit of “multiple personality” in them.
You act a certain way with your friends that you’d probsbly not do in front of other people, like your mom, boss, significant other.
Then sometimes it feels right to throw a bit of a fit if your toy gets taken away?
Then the day comes you want to dress up nice and sharp, act mature and be impressive?
All kinds of different folks residing in each of us.
DID isn’t like that.
You don’t get to choose who or what you want when and how…especially on unplanned situations where you have no practice of what’s expected.
And sometimes you find yourself discovering 3 separate boxes of files you made, that are all duplicates…and you get mad thinking someones playing tricks on you.
You seem to have knowledge of all those personalities, and under control, which isn’t like DID.
you get mad thinking someones playing tricks on you.
Exactly, and I am going to do something about these people messing with my head because this is not acceptable behavior. Behavior that includes manipulating, controlling, taking advantage of people like me. I am the kind of person who will stand my ground and defeat the evil people messing with my head, and when I find out who is doing this to me…they will be punished. Period.
I think you’re really overestimating your importance to others. I deal with a LOT of people in a week and I don’t think about messing with any of them, really. I just want to get away from them and drink tea, pet my cat, and watch Kodi.
What incentive is there for people to mess with you? Honestly?
Sick, sociopathic “fun”, especially people in the government, messing with my mind all the time, making me do things i do not want to do. I will f***ing destroy you people if you do not stop this bs!
Not you pixel, not talking about you. I am just going through delusions of persecution a lot lately.
You’re talking about the government, right? Here’s an example of someone who was a local top dog in our health care system.
This guy was “la creme de la creme” of our health care system here. You really think Dr. Cookie could organize a gaslighting campaign of the complexity you’re describing?
hahahaha he is the cookie monster! Not the government, no, but the elite would. The elite of the world would mess with my head, because people have always taken advantage of me, manipulated me, controlled me, and one day… one day pixel, I am going to go off on those people! I am taking Latuda 40mg but it is time to go to 60mg, and add on Trileptal (anticonvulsant) to reduce Na+ influx into over excited neuronal membranes. I also take sertraline/Zoloft for OCD. Thanks for your help, I really do appreciate it! My life is only getting harder each day…
What will that accomplish? Every time I think I can get even with someone, I realize I’m much better off having a cuppa and petting my kitty. Here’s my kitty:
Watch the 2003 movie “Identity” and you will understand the personality dissociation disorder thing. The whole movie is his imagination, it is wild at the beginning, middle, and very end of the movie.
Jeezus, I wish. That would be more glamorous than cleaning up after complete pudsticks who can’t manage to pay their insurance on time and then yell at me when I phone them to warn them they’re about to be driving their vehicles illegally. Or adding notes to files for my account executive who is too busy to do his own notes.
Man, I could totally rock it as a spy!
Seen it. Yeah, I get where you’re coming from and I also had delusions that aliens were messing with me. I eventually got my meds straightened out and then therapy and CBT to straighten out more of my thinking. Now I’m kind of embarrassed about how I thought entire civlizations were singling me out. I guess it was preferable to admitting to myself that I was sick, and (this is much worse), unimportant. (In the grand scheme of things, that is.)
Thanks, I needed to hear that/read that. I am currently mapping out the Central Nervous System and man my mind is blown, no pun intended! Too many receptors and projections of axons and interneurons and this and that. I just need to take a deep breath and try to relax! I stopped smoking cannabis this June and I am so much better off now (smoked for almost 12 years straight) but relaxing is hard. I am definitely experiencing mania, at least slightly-moderate mania of my bipolar/schizo/ocd complex i am going through. Fml. Just gotta keep focused and use the STOP SIGN method that this other guy taught me on this forum.
En vivo, means “Live”, as in living color, you know, when the world on our TV went from black and white to the peacock- in living color.
That’s all,
Now get with your treatment team and work on what’s best for you to ditch those thoughts so you can live well again.
I can’t really tell you know whether you have this or that mental disorder,
But based off ideas,
They are classified as delusions,
My mind has had similiar experiences, the mind can just take you for a really intense spin, my mind has been there too seeing the world in such ways, divergent ties to reality.
But I would really push you to seek help for these things.
Ultimately from my own personal experience and perception of this disorder,
Getting better, insight, the way you see yourself/the world is a whole function,
And it may just take some time to get it all better.
Tell these things to your close ones, providers, doctors, or therapists, and be safe.
No one is perfect and I am far from it.
this illness can really have a nasty kick too it. If you have enough insight to have some sort of distinction of reality,
Maybe look on a inside/out bases, and say to yourself, would other people even have a thought of such ideas/reasoning?
And maybe ask yourself before I was ill,
Would I even have a thought of this?
That may help with getting ideas of insight, to help you see better about these delusions, but you know talk to the people you trust about this,
I’d just try to relax, and do something relaxing and let go. Take it easy.
Try to rest on these ideas, so you can rest a little easier about them.
Best of luck on your pdoc appointment,
I’d be honest about your symptoms/what your experiencing/feeling.
