I can’t really tell you know whether you have this or that mental disorder,
But based off ideas,
They are classified as delusions,
My mind has had similiar experiences, the mind can just take you for a really intense spin, my mind has been there too seeing the world in such ways, divergent ties to reality.
But I would really push you to seek help for these things.
Ultimately from my own personal experience and perception of this disorder,
Getting better, insight, the way you see yourself/the world is a whole function,
And it may just take some time to get it all better.
Tell these things to your close ones, providers, doctors, or therapists, and be safe.
No one is perfect and I am far from it.
this illness can really have a nasty kick too it. If you have enough insight to have some sort of distinction of reality,
Maybe look on a inside/out bases, and say to yourself, would other people even have a thought of such ideas/reasoning?
And maybe ask yourself before I was ill,
Would I even have a thought of this?
That may help with getting ideas of insight, to help you see better about these delusions, but you know talk to the people you trust about this,
I’d just try to relax, and do something relaxing and let go. Take it easy.
Try to rest on these ideas, so you can rest a little easier about them.
Best of luck on your pdoc appointment,
I’d be honest about your symptoms/what your experiencing/feeling.