You’re reasonably intelligent. There’s no shame in that.
Funny you can’t seem to quote me saying that.
Hold your horses, cowboy. I have a 3.97 gpa (PhD coursework), a BS in Microbiology (minor in Chemistry), MS in Health Services Research, a Graduate Certificate in Biostatistics, and another Graduate Certificate in Epidemiology, and am currently half way through a PhD program in Public Health, specializing in Epidemiology. Now, when I graduate I plan on becoming a professor and doing research in my field. I do not feel any more superior to others who do not have the same education level (as yourself) as any other rational person. Professors, doctors, etc. ARE professors, doctors, and the like simply because they love learning not because they feel some innate superiority or have a drive to make others around them feel inferior. People who do that sort of things are perhaps a meglomanaic, psychopathic, or sociopathic (I could be wrong on the last one, though). In any case, it sounds like you have an over-inflated sense of ego. Don’t get me wrong, a little well deserved ego is great, but one gone unchecked is simply annoying at best and offensive at worst. Unfortunately the way life works is that eventually you will meet someone with less abilities than yourself AND someone with more abilities than yourself. That is just the way it is, everyone is different. Not better or worse, just different. Additionally, eventually everyone fails at least once in their life. The real test of a person is if they are able to brush themselves off and get right back up and try again.
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Ive already failed, I was surrounded by seven cops and cuffed and stuffed into a cruiser, blew a .17 on a breathalizer and was taken to a crisis assessment center for a while. Are you really diagnosed with schizophrenia?
I like to learn about schizophrenia because knowledge is the best weapon to fight off schizophrenia with. Im sick of people on this site calling me a psychopath, I tested in the 75% for it when I was psychotic and was therefore not diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. It was most likely my illness making supremely selfish and aggressive.
I also want to have a doctorate one day because my family is poor and I am on a full academic scholarship to a university and I want to have a more comfortable life when I am employed, I don’t want to live with a hundred thousand dollars of debt. I want to move up a socioeconomic class.
If you’re almost done earning a PhD, you shouldnt even be on these forums, these forums are not for people who are basically 100% recovered from schizophrenia, but if you still have traces of it, I dont mean to offend you, nice work.
And I have been through hell with this disorder and only come out stronger. I have a suicide attempt, self-harm, drug abuse, alcoholism and assault in my past, that all happened within 2 years and now I am a competitive powerlifter and a straight A student. Remembering the nights where I would sleep for 3 or four hours and spend the rest of the night chain smoking and drinking straight from the bottle while putting the cigarettes out on my arm makes me think that I have already passed [quote=“coffeegirl, post:43, topic:5114”]
The real test of a person is if they are able to brush themselves off and get right back up and try again.
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I just read one of your posts saying that you’re manic. I apologize for sounding too aggressive. Good luck with your studies and keep on going, but do sleep some, and maybe lay off the coffee, coffeegirl, mania and stimulants are a match made in hell. My sister, who I live with is bipolar and I’ve been partners with a girl who had bipolar, she was a med student. Both do not need any caffeine…
I just wanted to make it clear that I was a hopeless case with a morbid prognosis (suicide within a decade was what the evaluator told me) and that I was not always arrogant, I am arrogant now because I have been through hell and never let it take my GPA and scholarship away. I still have problem with stress, I have generalized anxiety disorder separate from schizophrenia and I sometimes have a brief relapse when I get overwhelmed with pressure, it happened for the fist time since October yesterday actually. I have 4 finals with 24 hours in this coming week and I lost it for a little while, took a nap and woke up normal again.
I think we are actually pretty similar, I never meant to put a mentally ill person down. You’re a friend in the struggle, I am reactive because lots of people on this forum have a problem with me, probably has something to do with jealousy.
I’m sorry but I’m a little confused. I don’t think anyone accused you of being psychopath. The thread was opened with:
Again I’m confused. For awhile now I have seen you claim to be 99.9% recovered/in remission? Maybe I’m getting the percentage wrong? Either way the forum is for everyone. Recovered and symptomatic.
I don’t mean to sound harsh however I don’t think anyone has a problem with you due to jealousy.
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I had a relapse yesterday, lets knock it down to 90% recovered. Also, I am not diagnosed with psychopathy (antisocial personality disorder), it was confounded by being psychotic at the time. I just was engaging in some unethical sexual behavior at the time I posted that and felt guilty. I told the guy who was cheating on his boyfriend with me I felt guilty and he said “it takes two to tango”
My brother in law and my uncle just tell me “you’re not a psychopath. Psychopaths rape and murder people, you just had consensual sex and only assaulted someone once while you were on antidepressants, drunk and an undiagnosed schizophrenic.”
I do get some problem vibes from people on this forum. People have nitpicked my posts for premises for arguments I never made, told me that they hope to see me relapse, stuff that makes me feel pissed off.
I am an extremely aggressive yet highly intelligent person. Those are both facts. The evaluator told me this. I get offended easily and I am reactive, people who know me in real life never cross me after the first time. They also never insult my achievements, I come from a poor family and worked my ass off at an international school so that college would be free, and I didnt let schizophrenia make me drop out or even make a C, so I am pretty arrogant. I was into self harm and now I am into powerlifting, as a teenager I was a martial artist.
I basically am rough around the edges but am actually a good person.
I just read come of @coffeegirl 's posts and saw that she was manic. I apologized for any offense I made, I just felt like someone who had been recovered for a very long time was just trying to break my balls.
I was a bit of a delinquent kid, I went to an international school but used drugs, challenged other kids to fights (sparring matches, we wore protective gear) and was offered to be the muscle for a group of dealers at 18. I have four belts in Krav Maga. They handed me a pistol and said they trusted me and knew I had stones but I turned it down. I was 5’7 185 lbs at the time, I looked intimidating and they offered me 300 a week to be their protection. I had just got my scholarship in the mail and explained that I had a new life ahead of me. They respected me for my decision.
and then schizophrenia hit me right in the face, I was psychotic until the middle of fall. I have been recovered for a short amount of time.
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Hi mortimermouse,
To answer your question, I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and bipolar I. Schizoaffective disorder is considered a schizophrenic spectrum disorder. On a daily basis I have visual and auditory hallucinations, and am at times very paranoid, but because I also have bipolar I disorder I also have mania, depression, and hypomania. In the past I have been hospitalized with suicidal ideations and delusions and have a history of physical self harm. I also grew up as an elite soccer player, even going as far as the national regional select tournament on the under 18 state team, when I was 16, which was unheard of at the time. The mania and hypomania are probably the only reasons that I have been able to complete degree after degree, besides the fact that school is something that I am good at. I am sorry you took offense to my suggesting that you might have traits of a psychopath, sociopath, or meglamanic. I was simply going by what you had said about yourself and the types of things you were talking about. Diagnosis is best left to the professional. Please believe me when I tell you that everyone on the site has serious mental issues, and it was not my intent to judge you. We are all in this boat together. So much of society and even friends and family simply do not understand what it means to be mentally ill, that is at times easy for them to dismiss what we are going through or do not grasp the severity of our disorder or disorders. I can relate to you when you said that your family was poor and you go to school to make a better life for yourself. That is one of the reasons that I began school also. It is my intent after I graduate to help my family out financially, because they still struggle. I do commend you for staying in school, it can be very tough at times, but the struggle is worth it in the end. One other thing. Mental illness is not something that simply goes away. It can simply be treated and in the best case scenario the symptoms can be minimized, but not removed entirely. Even with psychotrophic medication and your symptoms well controlled, that does not mean that you cannot have a severe relapse and end up in the hospital again. For those with a mental illness, it is a lifelong struggle, and yes, I and everyone else on the site deserves to be on it.
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