I don’t want to go to a group home and both my parents are very old, so my brother and I were discussing my living arrangements in the future.
He feels that I can live by myself but honestly I feel that I’m too anxious and paranoid to live alone.
Does anyone with lots of paranoia live on their own?
Can I get used to live on my own one day?
I want this to be a reality but don’t think that I can manage.
I hear that people with a severe mental illness shouldn’t live by themselves.
I really don’t know what to do - time is running out.
I live alone and it has been hell at times, been driven to the verge of insanity at times, not only sz I have to deal with, but vandals that know I have it and play on it. If you stay on meds and are stable you can do it.
I lived alone but chose not to after years of realizing that I wasn’t learning much and wasn’t keeping up with the times being so isolated. I live in a group home that is quite successful compared to others. Group homes vary and you certainly can’t make a rule about everything you hear about them.
Looking back on my life it seems like the times I got the weirdest were the times when I lived alone. Now I live in an assisted living center. I have my own apartment, which is nice. I’ve thought about moving to public housing, but I am wary of having to spend all my time alone. I would like to have the time I spend in day treatment to myself. That’s an extra 35 hours a week I could spend reading or writing. Actually, it’s kind of ridiculous for me to thing that way because I waste so much of the time I do have.
I live alone, have done so since December 2008, other than when my ex-gf lived with me for most of 2014 and most of 2015. I was by myself for a one-year period of July 2002 to July 2003, the time period during which I became very ill for the first time.
I like it, though I would be awfully lonely without my pets. If you end up in an apartment by yourself I would urge you to move into one that allows pets. A cat or dog would provide some companionship. I get paranoid, partly because of the kind of neighborhood I’m in, but I’m used to having a place by myself, so I can deal with it.
I would suggest giving it a try if it is financially feasible for you to do so, but like I said, maybe get a cat or dog or some sort of pet you can interact with.
@Wave Is there an option to have your own private room or studio apartment in a group home or assisted living situation? That way you would have your own private space but still have others around you including staff to help you with stuff and so you don’t get too lonely.
No there is no option like this in my area @Moonbeam.
I really don’t need the help in my house but will just have to use my Case Manager more often for outside of the house in the future.
I live with my Dad who is older too. He will be 76 next month. He is excellent health but he isn’t getting any younger. I understand where you are coming from. When I have been psychotic, there is no way I can live on my own. I am totally unable to function. I have the same fears. I have been hospitalized for a suicide attempt and for paranoia. It’s hard for me to give an opinion without knowing how bad your paranoia is. I think the group home sounds like a good option from what I know of your situation
I think I will live alone eventually. But I prefer living with my family. I like to see my family every night and talk to them everyday. I prefer not to live alone. And I don’t want to live in a centre with strangers. Mom is very healthy now. She’s my best friends. I just want us to spend a lot of time together. She is very important to me. I think my mom like to have me around, too. If my parents leave me one day, I’ll remember that I have been loved and I have a family. I’ll put them in my heart and think about the good time we spend together when I’m alone. I will remember I’ve done everything for her. I’ll take care of mom until the end of live. I’ll remember I choose to be around until the end of her day so that she’s loved and taken care of. I would console myself with this wish. I’ll be there for her. I know I’ll probably not have anyone to spend the day with me when I get old. But someone needs to live the lonely days in my case. I don’t want to live so lonely so I’m not letting it happens to my mom. At least I’ve tried hard enough to do sth with it. At least I make my mom’s life better.
I can live alone. I live with my husband now.
One day my power went out and I immediately heard rummaging around behind my house. I have PTSD, so I started to really freak out. While I was trying to figure out what to do, the power came back on and I heard a vehicle start. It was the power company just driving around turning people’s power off at random–actually they were updating meters but for God’s sake–I almost died.
Things like that made living alone hard but living in the middle of nowhere doesn’t help, either.
My paranoia is pretty significant but I honestly think I did better living alone in apartments–no yard to take care of (my trees look great but I won’t plant grass–anywhere else, I’d be in trouble with the powers that be), you’re not alone in a large space and you can get used to your neighbors if they aren’t terrifying.
I’m curious about your age if you care to share it. I imagine that would make a big difference in how you go about things.
I think the statement that people with severe mental illness shouldn’t live alone doesn’t consider much. Even if you are not functioning well, lists–even lists taped to the doors, walls, whatever–are amazing tools to help you do what you need to. The thing that used to be scariest to me was cooking. My cognition goes into fits and I’d put something on the stove and forget about it. I found that the solution to that was to keep food on hand that didn’t need to be cooked and eat that if I was particularly spacey. That required a certain amount of self-awareness that not everyone has, but you’ve probably been cooking without these problems, anyway…
It’s hard to say if you could live alone since I don’t know you but I knew a girl with schizoaffective and I’m guessing her IQ is around 75 and she had a little mobile home around the corner from me. Her biggest problem was that she always wanted to remodel and so she started to but she had no ability to finish the job, so there was exposed subfloor and whatnot all over the place. Aside from that, she was fine.
When things get rough here with mom, I sometimes think about moving to a group home. My therapist said I would be the highest functioning person there and that it would probably be worse than life (without parole) with mom.
This is something that you might have to test out for yourself while also setting up release valves of a sort. Maybe try staying in a reasonably priced hotel for a weekend and see how you do. If after a few test weekends you feel like you can go on your own, make the transition or make plans for it. Also have a plan for if you do get paranoid. Visit your brother or go to an outpatient clinic. Maybe get a social worker to check up on you if that is available in your area. Are you uncomfortable in libraries or coffee shops? Places like those might be good to get some social interaction, which helps me with paranoia sometimes.
Especially if you’re more stable on meds.