How would anyone of you handle tough life events. If it is something really awkward, does not make sense to think or talk about it. But it keeps lingering in the mind without any proper completion.
1 Like
@Melomaniac hello!
I think that you need real friends, real soulmates that you can share your pain and experiences mate!!
It doesn’t have to be your wife just find good, honest reliable caring friends and share your troubles
and experiences with them!!
Good luck @Melomaniac !!
2 Likes
Yes that’s true.
I have spoiled myself and relationships during the course of illness. Now I like to badly come out of it. Its like there is no help. I am all myself. That’s how it’s supposed to be.
Anyway I Lost touch with true friends. Hope I can make some in the due course of time. Or get in touch again with my lost friendships.
1 Like
Do you mean something you would rather not have others know? I guess i would google search terms and just see what comes up.
I also purposely type in “google scholarly articals” along with the search term. those articles are written by rsearchers at universities and other professionals. i often can use those as a spring board in another search to help me find solutions.
but i will give you this word of caution if you do that: be very picky and hesitant to think everything you read might apply to yourself.
if you think something might apply to you, please do not rush to make any decisions. There can sometimes be a world of difference between book-knowlege and experience.
1 Like
Yes. Something like that. There are some life events that keeps disturbing me and not make me utilize my potential towards making the day better. I always get stressed and end up going to bed or do something to avoid or forget the stress. It does not work well.
I keep searching google but i don’t seem to find the solution. I have been to Pdocs. Only the latest seemed to be fruitful. Rest I was just nodding head or was treated with medications.
I had my eye closed to the issues so far. But after a counselling session recently, I am looking at options of resolving the issues.
Anyways is there a way to come back to life after a many many set backs? Maybe a broad question. But to narrow it down. right now there is something i need to do as a starter and keep repeating it to make myself happy and others. anything that is common for everyone that i can do.
1 Like
so it is this thing you keep repeating that makes you and others happy which you are keeping secret? do i understand right?
1 Like
you mean not happy. Yes the fact that it is repeating and i am not able to make it go away is the issue. I would like to get on a routine which i love to do always and keep myself happy and others.
1 Like
wanting and keeping a routine is good. but i think you are trying to tell me you have ocd??? if true?? if i am right ??? ocd can produce embaressing symptoms as can any other mental illness. For many here, for us to say what we really think and feel is unbearable.
if you are having alot of beliefs that you know other people would laugh at if spoken, you might try the subsection here on this forum called “strange beliefs”. There are plenty here who can understand.
Ok I get. Thanks.
1 Like
before you go, i would like to add:
if you do think you have ocd, it is also a widely held belief that ocd is an anxiety problem at the root of it. it is though that the strange beliefs come with a strong feeling that the person must do or not do a certain thing.
sometimes ocd will .make a person feel he has to repeat an action again and again. He may feel that if he does not repeat the action or avoid other actions, then he can not move on.
if you think you have this, there is a book of short stories out there called “The Boy Who Could Not Stop Washing”. If none of that book sounds familiar to you, then certainly listen more to what you psychiatrist and therapist is saying.
As i cautioned before - be very, very slow to apply things to yourself, if at all. What we read can be easily misinterpeted by us. Experience can make a world of difference, and some experiences can not be gotten from reading alone.
I dont think its OCD. I think more of insecurity and lack of support. I am not able to turn to anyone close who i thought they were once. After an event or episode it all looks upside down. I am not able to repair the situation. That might be the thing. I am just looking for something useful that might help me in the present and the future. Otherwise i might end up going through another episode. And if that happens that might close the curtains for my life.
2 Likes
Sri whatz ur diagnosis bipolar right…cuz u are way functional then me…
1 Like
Yeah its Bipolar. I am not 100% convinced about it. But from others perspective it seems right.
@far_cry0 I love sri dearly, he is a dear friend.
Despite him being functional, he struggles with his mental problems.
He is functional but let’s not belittle his problems.
But you are right, sri is way more functional than you and me.
2 Likes
I feel like i am possessed 
In the world i am in there is no mercy for me. I am provided with minimum everything, except for Job and Wife. Thats the only thing driving my life. That too i am not too happy otherwise i would have been normal. I am sustaining to the best i can. Hope other things fall in place.
something not letting me do the things, say the things and write the things in the right way.
Erez you are so sweet. I love you too.
3 Likes
So something you did during an episode caused a seperation between you and your loved ones? You arentrying to repair that. Those things take time. Do those people live with you? just keep on with your life and try not to do anything that would scare or insult them.
It sounds like you are saying you have accidently damaged their trust in you? If they are living with you, then you simply must let sometime pass while showing you can be trusted.
If you are afraid of having another episode, and you lost control of yourself last time, that is not good. You need to talk to your therapist about what you can do if you feel you are losing control of yourself. That will help the most. i think the others here would call it an emergency plan. A lot of people have such plans. This does include suicide too. These emergency plans keeps you and your family safe. You very much need to talk with your therapist about a plan.
1 Like
You need to find someone who you trust to be able to talk to them about what it is that is lingering. Keeping those thpughts inside will only tear you apart.
1 Like
Maybe I can reveal this again as I did before in this forum. But back then I was more desperate about me losing control. Now I have little control so trying to give proper meaning to the pain before I come to conclusion.
Anyway I am not happy with the way I am treated by my wife or fellow family members except my mother. I am not able to win them with what I have accomplished so far. Not sure if they expect more or want me to suffer more. But whenever I am with my family members I am pretty sure that I am not going to be made to feel important. That’s upsetting and making me go in circles about life. Whatever perspective I try to think it seems futile as my mind does not capacitate any valid way of coming out of such situation. It has always been that way since my childhood. During late teens it got errupted and it paved way to illness. I still don’t understand why would someone be not helpful to me just because I was born poor. I have the same legs hands face stomach that they have. But still they like to play with my feelings and emotions to make me suffer. This is the core problem.
It turned into episodes where I was isolating myself from everyone and roamed around in streets. The worst I can recall is I lost total touch with myself and ran away when my wife was pregnant. Also out of frustration and helplessness kept abusing random people and also fellow family members including wife and mom. Now I am totally dependant again on my wife and mom. No one else is close to me in real. I lost touch with my real self.
I know from a sane mind it all happens due to not being able enjoy the little moments. Not being able to share and care for others even though I have something to. But fact that the pain is stronger it affects me to not look at the positive side of the spectrum. The things I like to do is learn something useful. Share something from the earning to the needy. And be happy with my family. Even if some reject me or play with me, I should be strong enough to face them and face others in any situation. Meds and therapy are what I am hoping will give a solution.
Sorry if I made this post very big. If not readable fine. If so looking forward to helpful tips if any.
2 Likes
This is a very complicated issue. It seems the pregnancy was at the same time your symptoms broke? If this is true, then it was likely you you felt under pressure? maybe you felt the child as a big responsibility? That is my best answer i can give. (above)
besides what is in the past, you say you are not able to look at the positive side or to enjoy the little momemts. This is a common thing here. it could be from the mental illness.
I would love to give you a better answer, but i can not. I think it will have to be a professional, such as your therapist, who will help you to understand what you could do.
1 Like
I was not at all thinking about responsibility during the episode either I forgot due to illness or some chemical imbalance. Maybe I totally forgot about my real world that is my family work and stuff that was going on. I wanted to forget all the bad past and live in some other part of the world where no one will know about the bad history rather I will only project my good side and live with it. Still I have that feeling of leaving everyone here one day and start a new life elsewhere. But logically it is cheating and impossible. Internally I lost the basic emotion and feeling about sharing loving and caring nowadays. I totally reject life. Though I am provided with super opportunity and decent family. One more important thing that goes through my mind is way I was insulted and words that my uncle had secretly told me which hurts me to the core.
1 Like