The obvious experiences to think of would be those that come with schizophrenia. It used to be my biggest fear to go crazy, then it happened, and I came out the other side. One might think there is nothing left to fear now. Yet the truth is, many uncertainties arose during or after psychosis and had to be taken care of step by step.
In early adolescence, some years before the onset of schizophrenia, I was confident almost up to the point of being cocky. One could glorify humility and caution but such have been somewhat of a hinderance in my life after psychosis - too much of these and one isn’t doing oneself much of a favor. I lost a felt confidence in some abilities of mine that I reflectively knew I had, mainly related to academics which is big part of my life.
After my first episode, a depressed/anxious episode followed and it was in this time I did have some experiences that made me stronger. I had committed to giving a class at university before I became this depressed and insecure. I did not tell anyone at the university yet about my problems, but my family knew, and they were quite harsh: if you have committed to giving this class then you are going to give it. I was looking for any excuse I could find in order not to give it, and was extremely nervous and anxious about it. So much so that I couldn’t think clearly, all I could think about was excuses.
My family has been a big support to me at the time. My parents came to my place when I called them in despair saying I did not want to do it. They helped me focus on the material I was going to lecture about, and I compiled a half-decent introductory lecture, crying half of the time. The next day I was going to see the class for the first time and all I could think about was the questions they were going to ask and I wasn’t able to answer.
I started the lecture with trembling voice - I’m sure the class picked up on that. But I didn’t choke. I finished my talk and when the time came for questions I was already feeling relieved about the talk having gone alright. The questions turned out to be a walk in the park. Much easier than the talk. After that, the following classes went easier and easier, and I was starting to enjoy myself.
This experience has in fact made me stronger. To push through when all you want to do is give up. I’m so very grateful towards my parents for both pushing me and assisting me at this time. Sometimes I have felt they take my condition a bit too lightly. But this experience has shown to me that this might not be too bad of a thing. In a matter of weeks much of my confidence returned. And I have my family to thank for this.